Survive the End Times with Project Management
The end of the world is nigh! Even though the world is still standing right now, there is no guarantee that it will still be intact in a few hours. And that doesn’t even account for time zones! So if anything is going to go down, we have plenty of lead time to get our teams together and plan out the ultimate project: survival!
You’ll be glad to hear that project managers are better-equipped than most to handle the apocalypse, whatever form it may take. We’ve got experience in planning, organizing, and making hard decisions, all of which will be vital to make it through the coming decades of doom and gloom.
This is going to a core survival skill in our post-apocalyptic, not-so-distant future. Should we send a group of survivors out for another food run and risk getting eaten by zombies? Or do we sit tight and try to make the rations last another week? Survival is all about balancing pros and cons, and we’re very good at that.
Who do we want in our survival group? Only the strongest and most effective survivors, of course! People we can rely on to pull their own weight, and contribute to the team’s ultimate goal: carving a refuge out of the rubble of civilization!
Nobody thought anything good would come from Gantt charts in an apocalypse. But they were wrong! Not only can these colorful charts be used to signal rescuers—Gantt printouts can be used as starter fuel for bonfires and torches, too!
People come and go, especially in life-or-death scenarios. One false move leaves your team short a man. But don’t worry! The Agile methodology guarantees you can easily work around these changes and find other effective survival strategies!
When you’re building something big, like an impenetrable fortress, it helps to have a plan. Waterfall methodology is perfect, so that you can construct your citadel in a decent amount of time without having to lose too many slaves.
Client Management Skills
You won’t have any more “clients” to speak of. Instead, you’ll be faced with rabid, slavering animals who want to take everything you—you know what? Let’s just say clients. Your negotiation and diplomacy skills will prove to be very useful, and you’ll need to exercise them to the utmost if your clients are armed and you’re not.
Well? What are you waiting for? You’ve got supplies to gather and minions to recruit! Get to it! Chop chop!